0.13 | American Dream | G.O.M.C.

Had a nightmare. Something, some phantom of malice and rage was in my room whispering sick things into my ear. He or It, was clinging to my back, trying to get into my mind like needles pressing steadily into a gourd. This is what he said to me:

“We don’t have a death system in OUR country. We have a torture system, a rape system. By the time we’re through with you, you’ll be brainwashed and good as new. Even if we have to break every single bone, self-will and respect inside of you. You will comply. We’ll make you wish you were dead, but of course you won’t be able to take your own life. We have a prison system/mental institution for that. Which also includes our rape and torture policies. See how it all comes together to make sure your life is only yours till we see fit to take it?”

We men who rule the world, have it all planned out. We convince women it’s as it should be. God forbid they realize they’re more powerful than us. We must have them feel pampered so that they won’t want to fight. Girls should stay soft and pretty and easy and stay out of big boy affairs.

I wrote the nightmare down after I woke up terrified gasping for air, and I could still feel on my back that hot heavy presence left behind from what ever was haunting me in my sleep. I was 20 when I had this nightmare and it’s changed me to focus more on the problems in the U.S. because it needs fixing. I don’t think women in the U.S. have any right to judge and pity another culture when rape gets brushed off as boys will be boys, and the victim whether male or female, was asking for it and should have known better and the law doesn’t punish sex offenders with severity especially when pedophiles are concerned. They are allowed back into society to harm, abuse, destroy and traumatize  children. Why are people in prison longer for doing drugs or stealing money. So honestly material things are valued over human life in the U.S.?

I was raised to feel shame for wearing makeup and wanting to wear revealing clothes. I was raised to be afraid of American men, usually white or black men, and that I had to make sure I didn’t do anything that would set me up for rape, so that in court no judge or jury could point a finger at me and say, why were you wearing that, why were you out late at night? You brought this on yourself. The man gets no jail time, or does a year and can get out of a longer jail time with good behavior, while people caught selling or doing drugs get put away for the entire sentence with out pity.

I’ve been around a lot of American women that talk about how oppressed other women are in other countries, but when I went to Japan and saw how freely young girls could walk around in hooker heels and fishnets at 3 am with relative safety and no anxiety towards men, laughing hanging out with friends. Seeing old elderly women at 1 am going for walks without anxiety and fear.  I realized the bullshit I hear about Asian women being dominated by men is outdated in Japan. There’s still shame and silence in Japan towards rape, but I could go out dressed in whatever I wanted at 3am without men screaming I’m a slut, or whore and going to hell. My Japanese friends didn’t understand the intense paranoia and fear I was raised with to not wear certain things at night unless I wanted to get sexual attention from men. Good clean girls don’t hang out at all hours of the night.

In the U.S.  judicial system, rape isn’t taken seriously, pedophiles are let back into society, where they can live near schools and possibly prey on children again. American women need to fix America first, before going on a crusade telling other women in different cultures how oppressed they are, and try to help them so you can feel good about yourself and appease your savior complex.  Until the laws are changed and the mentality of our culture towards women’s/men’s bodies  and rape change so that people can wear what they want and be where they want and still receive justice when assaulted instead of blamed , I’m not going to talk about how bad other cultures are.  That would make me a hypocrite.



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